Important Disclaimer

Since I currently have several employers/supervisors/churches/etc., please know that none of the words on my blog represent them or their beliefs. This blog is my own creation.

It also does not represent my children's perspective, nor my mother's; they think I am funny, but misguided.
(Quick update: only my mother thinks I'm funny now.)

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Broad Place

some weeks suck more than others
which i'm sure you already know

for those weeks there's this:

he reached down from on high; he took me
he drew me out of  mighty waters...
he brought me out into a broad place;
he delivered me, because he delighted in me

~Psalm 18

Monday, October 8, 2018

Hit my inbox

A caveat before posting... I'm in the middle of a search process for a new pastor call.  I've directed a lot of people to this blog.  I've received advice to watch what I post. 

So if you're here, checking me out, and this post makes you uncomfortable, I'd ask you to read more of my posts instead of writing me off.  Maybe you might ask yourself why you are uncomfortable. Maybe you might address me directly with your concerns rather than just ghosting. 

And if not, if this is all too much, then wipe the dust.  Jesus said you could. 



The tensions these last weeks could be summed up in these fucked up scriptures:
Genesis 3:16-17

I'd really like to have a conversation about what our music was/is like, what our literature was/is like, what our romance novels/erotic literature/porn/whatever gets you off was/is like, what our movies/tv/plays was/is like. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

cassandra

what happens
when your body itself
is
the thin place
and your
spirit
if you will
moves between
here and there
what is and what isn't
hope and despair
yesterday and tomorrow
and today has all the fixity
of school glue

Monday, October 1, 2018

11 word goodnight

Clarabelle

clear bell

clear as a bell

aye, you are that.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

D̶i̶s̶a̶g̶g̶r̶e̶g̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ Motherhood

Today was the usual shitshow of Mother's Day posts, pronouncements, proclamations, declarations, poems, pictures and prayers on social media. In all of the churches I serve handed out flowers to "mothers" and there was the usual confusion for the children as to who qualified as a mother, augmented by the fact that many of us are confused as to whether we qualify as a mother, or want to.

I had my usual discomfort at preaching on Mother's Day, knowing that I would cause pain, regardless of the tone or content of my sermon. I'd almost rather try to remove the U.S. flag from the sanctuary. Almost. White Motherhood and White Nationalism are tightly connected and well entrenched. I know several beautifully intentioned pastors who have died on those hills.

So no transcript, but if you want the audio, click here.

And posts from over the years where I've talked about motherhood in various ways below. There's no fixity to motherhood, simply snapshots of moments in time where I've found meaning. Motherhood shifts constantly from temporary and questionable physical reality to incomplete and problematic metaphor to false and narrow construct to amorphous and unfixable identity.

It is almost meaningless until I am pulled up short by two nearly grown offspring, who would like very much for motherhood to have meaning. They would probably roll their eyes if they read this post, which they probably will not. On their easiest days I am simply a projection of their desires. I am what they need me to be. And at my most difficult I am deeply, inscrutably me, without gender or nameable identity.

Motherhood is a mess. I question the wisdom of engaging/indulging it from either angle.













Wednesday, January 31, 2018

there is a sweetness i...
almost remember
do you, Clarabelle?
or perhaps that is delusion too
or just that there is a sweetness
i aspire to
that hasn't happened yet
and then i remember that sweet
doesn't mask bitter
it only brings it out
stronger
like coffee
which i have come to love
sweetly, actually

chaos

sometimes, when chaos beckons and seduces
i trip straight into her whimsical snare
lured by promises of laughter
high off absurdity and the hope
of something new under the sun
dear lady ANYTHING new
and I'm yours
but anyway clarabelle
that's quite a spell
you cast pell mell