Important Disclaimer

Since I currently have several employers/supervisors/churches/etc., please know that none of the words on my blog represent them or their beliefs. This blog is my own creation.

It also does not represent my children's perspective, nor my mother's; they think I am funny, but misguided.
(Quick update: only my mother thinks I'm funny now.)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Like a Ship in the Harbor

Captured on deck off the coast of Florida somewheres.
It has been a tough few days around my house. The various combinations of personality and disability between Myself, Oldest, and Little Guy are sometimes dreadful and always complicated. This weekend Oldest had his first sleepover,which, I am told is something quite different than a slumber party, which only girls do.

If you're a parent, and you've sent your child off for sleepovers, then you know the peculiar delirious state in which your child arrives home. By 9am, the child is laughing at his own laughter, and nearly splitting a gut at your laughter over him laughing at his own laughter. It's a somewhat desperate sight.

But the child is not ready for bed quite yet, no! And so he perseveres through an entire day with no sleep, until exhausted he falls into bed grousing about why you didn't make him go to sleep earlier.

And then a magical thing happened. I went to tuck him in for the night, and he said, "Mommy, sing to me." This child has hated the sound of my singing since he was born. In fact, it wasn't until he was two that I realized all those hours of singing to my screaming child had probably made things worse. He looked at me one day and screamed, "Mommy, stop singing! You hurt my ears!"

They don't tell you about that in the manuals. And in the movies, a mother singing to her child works every time. But I have not sung to my child in nearly 10 years, although my silence didn't stop the screaming either. It has been a long 12 years so far as a mother, but some moments are very sweet.

So tonight I sang him to sleep for the first time since that day. And I knew just what song to sing him, the lullaby I always had sung and had always imagined he might like. It was nice, for once, to not have to fight about bedtime--even if it came only from sheer exhaustion.

Like a ship in the harbor
Like a mother and child
Like a light in the darkness
I'll hold you a while
We'll rock on the water
I'll cradle you deep
And hold you while angels
Sing you to sleep

*Thanks to my friend Sonnie for chasing down the artist who wrote this song, Cris Williamson, and a link to this video.


  1. Mothering is so difficult and so awesome. Thank you for posting link to this beautiful lullaby by Cris Williamson. I used to listen to it some years ago and loved it. So good to hear it again. Janet Bohren


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