Important Disclaimer

Since I currently have several employers/supervisors/churches/etc., please know that none of the words on my blog represent them or their beliefs. This blog is my own creation.

It also does not represent my children's perspective, nor my mother's; they think I am funny, but misguided.
(Quick update: only my mother thinks I'm funny now.)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I'm Queer, I'm Here, and other such things

Today is National Coming Out Day, and while I had my coming out ball last year, let me pause to throw around some confetti.

There is a stereotype of queer folk as very sad, lonely, frightened, oppressed individuals, cowering in a closet, unable to love or be loved except in furtive, secret moments. There's all kinds of truth wrapped up in that stereotype. But I want to say this:

When y'all weren't looking, perhaps to our own surprise, queer folk have created a rich tapestry of life and love. There are whole communities of queer folk going about their day in a celebratory way. There's a lot of us living, moving, and having our being in the midst of heterosexual, cissexual, straight, normative culture. And while that can be constraining at times, I do not go home at the end of the day to cry in my soup. At the end of the day, I'm not begging God to make me different; I'm begging God to send me more mischief to get up to.

There's a lot of folks seeking equality (however one measures that), and I'm glad the folks who want to marry are getting their chance. But that's not my goal. Part of the fun (yes, FUN) of claiming a queer identity is setting myself at odds with normative structures in this world. Not all of them every day--I've got kids to feed and rent to pay like everybody else. But being at odds is a delightful state of being. Being odd. Being queer. And to my everlasting joy, being queer, being at odds, is satisfyingly compatible with the essential tenets of Christian faith.

So I don't know if I can offer safe space--safety is hard to guarantee, as I've written before. But Beloveds, I can offer love and laughter, a place to share deeply. I can stand with you while you push against oppressive structures (and in this I understand some of those structures will be racist, sexist, classist, ableist, and that claiming queer requires solidarity in those struggles as well).

So come out, come out, wherever you are. The table is set and the wine is poured.


  1. And I for one am deeply grateful for the space to love, laugh, and share with you. Thank you for living fully!

  2. This is, of course, a beautiful post. I'm curious what, if any, advice you would have for those of us who identify as other than queer on this National Coming Out Day. I don't know whether to encourage coming out in a world in which safety, as you say, cannot be guaranteed to my queer friends and family or to simply remain on the sidelines and allow the GLBTQ community to make of this day what they will.

    Thanks again for posting this!

  3. Do the work that's in front of you. If you don't know someone who is choosing to come out today who could use your support, then do other work. Struggles against oppressive structures are interrelated, so work you do around ableism, racism, sexism, etc are all helpful for those coming out. Walk around your church and see if it's accessible. How much easier is it to be out if you are able to be in church because someone put in a ramp? It's not up to you to decide if it's safe or not for your queer family and friends--thats their decision and they know the risks as well or better as you. It's up to you to do the work in front of you.

  4. I love this post! You are wonderful! Thanks for being wonderful!


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