It has been a very full couple of weeks since I returned from all of my summer adventures. My to-do list is pages long. My programs, connections, relationships, and meetings are all back in full school year swing. I'll be running hard until mid-December, when blessedly the birth of our Savior coincides with school breaks and the Christmas Culture War. I will be conveniently lost in most people's shuffle.
In the meantime, I am up and down and all around, never sure if I'm coming or going, switching between age groups and cultural groups, changing clothes three times a day to accommodate worship, relay races, formal meetings, and pizza hangouts.
This kind of ministry, with this kind of rhythm, is sometimes like gorging oneself at a smorgasbord. Every emotion known to humans is on the table: joy, grief, foolishness, cynicism, satisfaction, rage, and more. Sometimes it's my emotions, sometimes it's you all's, but we are connected and I feel it.
I was talking about all this with a colleague today, saying, "If it wasn't for _______, I would be free." Fill in the blank with whatever you want. Free to do what, I'm not sure exactly. But his response set me back: "You are already free."
It could have been trite, but it wasn't. I forget this is my Truth. I forget that I am free in Christ. The trick is remembering to live as if this is true.
When Peter saw [the beloved disciple], he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, what about him?’ Jesus said to him, ‘If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!’ ~John 21:21-22