Important Disclaimer

Since I currently have several employers/supervisors/churches/etc., please know that none of the words on my blog represent them or their beliefs. This blog is my own creation.

It also does not represent my children's perspective, nor my mother's; they think I am funny, but misguided.
(Quick update: only my mother thinks I'm funny now.)

Friday, February 14, 2014

Eye Heart Ewe

Valentine's Day is such an ambivalent day for me. I love seeing all the sweet lovey posts, your plans for expressing love, the smiley pics of lovers.

So envious of those who know their place with one another.

Conscious of the fact that a lot of the display masks pain and conflict.

Longing for to be known deeply and loved passionately.

Totally uninterested in "forsaking all others" to get with somebody--do you realize how many people you are forsaking? The entire world. That's so many people! How I long for a companion who has fallen in love with the world as I have, to share in the wonder. What I wouldn't give for someone to embrace the world with me.

Also, I made kick-ass pasta. All it needed was capers, but we all gotta have flaws.


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Worn Thin

This winter, with it's unrelenting grey and snow and ice and cold, is eating away at my reserves, leaving me thin like a half-starved hibernating bear.

Some years winter is a metaphor for loss
and some years winter is an ice mirror
holding up for close inspection
the losses
that pile up
and layer

an ice storm loads the trees
and CRACKS the branches
which snap
and drop to the ground
as the 

I detest winter
both as metaphor
and as reflectant

I curl inward into my own warmth
eyes closed
reaching deep for summer
and heat

this winter might shatter me yet

Monday, February 3, 2014

Trigger Warning: Rape and Child Abuse

Me, Age 6-ish
May I write truth
Even if it's not your truth

Trigger Warning: 
Rape and Child Abuse
May I offend Everybody.

A note: Women AND men, girls AND boys experience rape and assault. Trans folk experience rape and violence at higher rates than the rest of us. I write today about my experiences, knowing they are not all-inclusive.

I've been following along the latest blog posts, tweets, facebook whatevers, and articles about Dylan Farrow. Accusations of child sexual assault against Woody Allen have been around a long time, and a lot has been written over the years. Woody Allen received an award at the Golden Globes on January 12, and Mia and Ronan Farrow tweeted concise but scathing remarks on the subject. Various media outlets have revisited the accusations with excitement bordering on lust.

Blogposts, letters, tweets, facebook. More importantly, a letter from Dylan staking her claim to what