Important Disclaimer

Since I currently have several employers/supervisors/churches/etc., please know that none of the words on my blog represent them or their beliefs. This blog is my own creation.

It also does not represent my children's perspective, nor my mother's; they think I am funny, but misguided.
(Quick update: only my mother thinks I'm funny now.)

Monday, March 31, 2014

At Sea

I will extol you, my God and King, 
          and bless your name forever and ever. 
Every day I will bless you, 
          and praise your name forever and ever. 
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; 
          his greatness is unsearchable.

~Psalm 145:1-3























Yes, today I bless you and praise your name,
even though I am limp with loss and uncertainty
I keep trying to ground myself
forgetting that I cannot ground myself at sea

if you might see fit to bring me out on dry land

just a little while
I wouldn't mind

until then, I'll take my cue from Kierkegaard
although I don't think he meant Johannes
to be a role model:

I have always loved, on a moonlit night, to lie out in a boat on one of our lovely lakes. I take in the sails and the oars, remove the rudder, stretch out full-length, and gaze up into the vault of heaven. When the boat rocks on the breast of the waves, when the clouds scud before the strong wind so that the moon vanishes for a moment and then reappears, I find rest in this unrest. The motion of the waves lulls me, their lapping against the boat is a monotonous cradle-song. The swift flight of the clouds, the shifting light and shadow, intoxicate me so that I am in a waking dream. Thus no, too, I lay myself out, take in the sails and rudder; longing and impatient expectation toss me about in their arms; longing and expectation become more and more quiet, more and more blissful, they fondle me like a child; the heaven of hope arches over me; her image floats by me like the moon's, indistinct, blinding me now with its light, now with its shadow. How enjoyable thus to splash up and down on a stormy lake--how enjoyable to be stirred in oneself.
~Søren Kierkegaard, The Seducer's Diary

Praise to you, then, Almighty
Your greatness is unsearchable
and I am worn out looking for it.

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